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WHAT STEPHEN GOSTKOWSKI NEEDS TO DO ASAP

10/24/2016

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Having had two future Hall of Fame place kickers on your favorite NFL team's roster for the past 20 years, it's easy to think the sky is falling when suddenly a touchdown is only worth 6 points. We Patriot fans are used to counting by 7s and 3s with an occasional 2 or 8 mixed in for fun. Counting by sixes? Unheard of!
Two games ago I sat down and started going though every miss in Gostkowski's NFL career. During his few bad luck strings he would typically alternate between wide right and wide left. Was it over-compensating? Were the kicks from opposite hashes? Was the wind blowing in opposite directions? How was the snap? What about the hold? Since the only information I was relying on was the game stats on the Internet, I couldn't gather that Intel. However, I did gather the following nuggets of information and do have some amazing ideas of what Gostkowski needs to do;

The Nuggets:
  • I could see that in 2013 he frequently had long misses heading into half-time.
  • Since 2011 he's missed 6 field goals against the Dolphins.
  • ​In 2008 he missed a 26 yard attempt after a delay to realign the goalpost which had shifted because of the wind.
  • In 2006 he had misses 3 games in a row (blocked, blocked, true miss).
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The Can't Beat Fixes-
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So what does the future Hall of Famer need to do to get Pats' fans' blood pressure back in check?
  • ​Trade out his cleats with his pair on display in the Patriots Hall
  • Have a meeting with TB12s good luck shaman
  • Participate in a high stakes kicking contest with "Automatic Adam" Vinatieri.
  • Have Gino Castignoli bury his jersey in Mile High Stadium
  • Make a sacrifice to Jobu
  • Avoid stepping on all Patriots logos, sidelines, endzones, etc.
  • Practice Feng Shui at home and with his locker
  • Trade himself off his fantasy team and refrain from drafting himself on Draft Kings and Fan Duel
  • Hum a new song on his way from the sideline to the playing field
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