TOM BRADY DESTROYED HIS PHONE, HE MUST BE HIDING SOMETHING

Yup, that's what we are supposed to believe.  Someone who makes more money in a day than the combined yearly income of all the people who will read this post might actually destroy his phone when he gets a new one.  Surely, it couldn't be a safety precaution that he's always used when he upgrades.

What, you don't destroy your phone when you get a new one?  Why not?  I'll tell you why you and I don't-

1. The only reason you are getting a new phone is because you destroyed your old one.  Come on, you know that's true.  While I haven't had this happen since I got my old Nokia wet roughly 15 years ago, you know it's true.
2. Oh, you actually went and got yourself a new phone before breaking your last one?  You had to turn in your old phone when buying your new one.  While that was the way buying a new phone went 15 years ago, it appears to be the way it is once again.  Want to get a new iPhone for less than $650?  Well, you better be ready to pony up your old phone or tablet. 
   
3. Your old phone is a hand me down.  Situation 1 and 2 didn't apply to you?  Well, then chances are good that you've handed off your old phone to a family or friend to use.
4. Sold it.  Yup, you and I both have those friends who always have the latest gadget yet aren't made of money.  How do they do it?  Well, they typically keep their gadgets in pristine condition and then sell them on ebay or some other website.
5. Keeping it as a backup/parts.  Yup, I've done that.  My iPhone 3S has been pretty useful.  Since it has a decent amount of songs on it, I have used it for its playlist many times.  Oh, you broke your phone and need to borrow one for a few days.  Hell, I went all MacGyver and retrofitted a 4S sim card to fit a 3S for a friend.  
   

So there you go, 5 reasons why you haven't intentionally destroyed your old phone.  Now go ahead and find one that applies to Tom Brady.  Oh, destroying your phone so your personal information doesn't end up on TMZ or Gawker.  Seems to be a good reason to habitually clean your phone.

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