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MY THOUGHTS ON THE JARED REMY SITUATION

3/25/2014

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Regardless of what the weather does out there in the next 24-48 hours, spring training is almost over and the boys of summer will be playing some games that matter.  When that time does finally roll around, I'll be keeping you up to date with what's going on with the Red Sox and giving you my opinion.  I already know that I'm a "homer" for my teams, so you don't need to call me out on that.  While I try to keep my comments and criticisms focused on what goes on during games and with the making of a team (draft, trades, contracts, etc.), I do sometimes venture out of my box to give my opinion on some sensitive topics.  This will be one of those times.
REMY SITUATION:  I doubt anyone can disagree that it is an awful situation.  I'm sure that everyone who was involved in the upbringing of Jared Remy wishes they had done something different.  Only a narcissist could look back on their relationship with Jared and think that they did everything right.  Obviously I don't know the Remy family or any of his friends, but when I try to mentally put my feet into their shoes I come up with some things that they may have done differently.  Since we can not turn back time, we will never know the effect different decisions would have made.  While other people have gotten very emotional and rude with their thoughts on the matter, I will not go that route.

Jerry and Phoebe Remy- I can't imagine what they are going through.  As if the situation wasn't bad enough, there are members of the local sports media who are showing their true colors on this one.  If you follow twitter, you know who I'm talking about.  First off I am in the camp that Jerry Remy should keep his job at NESN unless he is unable to do his job or if he himself faces legal charges.

Have not been brought up in their household, I have no idea what they did and didn't do on a daily basis.  Based on what I do know, there is one place where I feel a better decision could have been made.  Once again, hindsight is 20/20, so it's unrealistic to think that I would have made this decision if I was in their shoes at the time.  Simply put, I think they should have supplied him with a lesser lawyer.  Given the family's financial situation it would not have been fair to the taxpayers to have him rely on a public defendant.  Based on what we now know it seems like the lawyer could get anyone off scot-free.  With a less skilled lawyer it is likely that Jared may have had to pay the piper much sooner in life.
There are many results which may have happened if Jared did have legal consequences earlier in life.  The "rose-colored glasses" version is that he changes his ways and lives happily ever after as a model citizen.  A more realistic outcome is that he is doing time and thus avoiding the opportunity to commit his laundry list of crimes. 

Past Girlfriends and Friends- If just one of these people had their head on straight or wasn't a completely self-centered tool, Jared would have been off the street years ago.  I guess I'm expecting a lot from people who are getting drunk while knowingly pregnant and beating innocent people over the head with bottles.  How many times does Law and Order have to have an episode about the criminal striking again before a victim steps up and testifies before people get the point.  If you are thinking that I wouldn't step up, you are right, but only because I wouldn't have spent more than 10 seconds with this group of "winners".

Prosecutors, Judges, etc.- Yeah, I think everyone of them dropped the ball year after year.  While each individual decision may not have seemed like a big deal, like the selection Sunday committee says - "it's the body of work".  While the term epic fail has been used and abused, this would be the perfect time to use it. 


The Lawyer- He's the narcissist of the bunch and was just doing his job.  If he could use his intelligence to challenge some federal laws which go against the Constitution, that would be much appreciated. 

The Bystanders- In 1998, Jackie Chiles gave us the term "guilty bystander" during the final Seinfeld episode.  While many of Jared's transgressions were behind closed doors, most have ample witnesses.  Surely some of the people who either saw his actions first hand or heard about them could have done something more than what they did.  While I'm sure Jared crossed paths with many people who pretty much ran the other way.  If some of these bystanders would have stood up to Jared or helped shield their friends or family members from him, the results would surely have been different.

Jared Remy- Clearly all of the blame does fall onto his shoulders.  While he may have some sort of psychological problem, I am not of the camp that feels it should matter.   
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